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THE BACKBONE OF LONG LASTING & HAPPY RELATIONSHIP


"To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy"


In Chinese Metaphysics, I Ching - the 64 Hexagrams - teaches us about balance, life and harmony. In that 64 hexagrams, the first part consists of 30 hexagrams mostly teach us on natural order and personal development so you can aim your goal/purpose. The second part consists of 34 hexagrams teach us more on how to create a connection and relationship between people. The 64 hexagrams itself will unfold that we actually will face the same 16 storylines in life. When you understand the 64 hexagrams deeply, you can understand about life.


Okay, let's talk about this hexagram 31 and 32 which are the "opening" hexagrams when we want to talk about relationship.

***Why these 2 hexagrams, we call them a pair, you can try to see the hexagram upside down or if you have the physical card, you can just turn your card 180 degrees. The even numbers of the hexagrams are the reverse from the odd hexagram ( except for the special 8 hexagrams)

Try to read the title of each hexagrams repeatedly, even from here we can deduce that when we have a mutual influence (understanding) it can read a long last relationship. Simple and straightforward.


When talk about people, hexagram 31 is Dui over Gen, Dui represents young woman and Gen represents young man, which when these 2 young people meets, have a mutual understanding, communicate clearly on what they expect , care and make a balance sacrifice (not only one party does all) they can build a harmonious relationship.


Elementally, trigram meaning and composition: Dui represents Metal-Lake and Gen represents Earth-Mountain. Earth produces Metal which means when you have enough knowledge, observations and experiences [Mountain], you can now try to share what you have with others so they can understand what you want and have in mind [Lake]. You need to know yourself first ( what you have and don't have) then you try to find out what the other person want and need, so that the communication can be build and get the mutual understanding.

Trigram Dui has 1 Yin line on the top and 2 Yang on the below while Trigram Gen has 1 Yang on the top and 2 Yin on the below, these 2 trigram not symmetrical but they have reversed lines which we can say they compensate each other weakness, make a room for ourselves so that other people can come comfortably. That's why this hexagram 31 is the first step to create the harmonious relationship.



When we can have that mutual influence and understanding, then come the Hexagram 32 which at glance looks like quite a "chaotic" phenomenon as Zhen [Thunder] over the Xun [Wind], but these 2 trigrams represents movement. The Thunder connects the heaven to the earth while the Wind shift movement to the earth.


By the compositions of lines , these 2 hexagrams also compensate each other weakness as this Hexagram 32 is the upside-down version of Hexagram 31. The only difference between these 2 Hexagrams are, the previous one is the "stable" hexagram" but this one is "dynamic" hexagram.


After knowing the other person, now we can know what the other person needs and we can provide so the relationship can be strengthen and maintained for long. And bear in mind that to make the relationship sustains for an extended time, it should be interactive not only in one direction, it is also not a process of changing the other person or adapting yourself to other but it is more on the MUTUAL adjusting and understandings that is the backbone of happy and long lasting relationship.


I Ching is very interesting indeed !




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